We’re Back!

Posted on December 19, 2012 by Leave a comment   |  
If you don't get the reference...let's face it, no one got that reference.

If you don’t get the reference…let’s face it, no one got that reference.

 

We’re finally back from hiatus!  Oh, PS, we were on hiatus.  Did we forget to tell you?  Did you care?  You know you didn’t care.

Anyway, it’s December, we’re two family-oriented jerks, so things get hectic.  But we’re back and ready to put up some new reviews.  This week we’ll be touching on the Phoenix Brewer’s Invitational, an event that happened in Heritage Square a couple of weekends ago, and then we’ll be turning back to a wing review of Keegan’s Bar and Grill.

Let us know if you have any beer or wing recommendations, we’re ready to get back into the swing of things!

A Little About Beer

Posted on November 29, 2012 by 3 Comments   |  

After we made the decision to cover beer-centered places like breweries and ale houses in addition to our usual piles of hot wings at all the local dives we have visited some pretty great places and enjoyed quite a few incredible beers. From local favorites at Four Peaks to some really high quality stuff from Angel Trumpet, we have had a good run of it so far. I think we [read: Xavvi] have a good knack from finding interesting local places to get some great local and craft beers. If anything has been lacking in our write-ups so far it may be a deeper understanding of what makes a great beer great.

I do feel like we have a pretty taste for good, high quality beers but we aren’t great at explaining why they are good or describing their taste in any extensive detail. So far, we have covered up for any gaps in our knowledge with heavy use of subjective opinions and spending a lot of time describing the places overall instead of focusing only on the beers.

Still, while we have been lucky enough to visit some really cool places to grab some brews and share the experiences with you guys I figured it would still be nice to get a little better understanding of beer in general and some of the specific styles we have come across frequently. Maybe we could even start sounding like we half-way know what we are talking about. I mean, this certainly isn’t going to make me a beer scholar overnight or anything but I think it helps that we are putting in the effort to better our beer knowledge.

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Angels Trumpet Ale House

Posted on November 15, 2012 by 2 Comments ,   |  
angels trumpet exterior

We couldn’t possibly take a photo this cool, so we stole it from their Facebook.

When I was a kid, downtown Phoenix was a ghost town.  The Suns still played at the Madhouse on McDowell and there were mostly trains and warehouses downtown, with the occasional skyscraper.  I kind of imagine there was a lot of bum-rape and pee smell too, but I can’t back that up.  When the Suns started construction on a new, state-of-the-art arena in 1990, the city was buzzing.  Were we finally going to get a downtown district?  Were new businesses going to come in and inject money and fun into the area and attract residents back into the core of this sprawl?  We were all dying to find out.  So, how did it go?

It went okay.

New skyscrapers started going up slowly and businesses moved in, kicking out the vagrants and the hobos and the warehouses (but not the bum piss smell).  In a brilliant move in 1996, the Coyotes brought hockey…a sport on ice…to Phoenix, the hottest major city in North America.   In 1998 the Bank One Ballpark (now Chase Field, a stupid name that I refuse to say) opened and brought professional baseball to downtown Phoenix.  3 major sports teams, the fifth biggest city in the nation, a bustling population with a housing boom, and a bit less bum-rape.  So how was downtown at the end of the century?

Ehhhh.

See, here’s what downtown Phoenix didn’t get back then:  unlike shopping centers in developing suburbs and stripmalls with grocery stores, unlike open-air malls with movie theaters and BevMos, unlike what any Phoenix real estate moguls had previously found success with, a downtown area can’t just sprout up by throwing money at it.  It’s landlocked.  It’s not going anywhere.  There’s no incentive to make it better when we can just keep moving outwards and further away from the decay of a city that was never as much of an urban center as a loose affiliation of farming communities tied together by sporadic-but-sudden growth.

 

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Four Peaks Brewing – Part 1

Posted on November 1, 2012 by Leave a comment   |  

Red lights aren’t just for whorehouses anymore!

 

The city of Phoenix (and its surrounding metro area) is a puzzling one to categorize.  Few cities can claim such a massive influx of transplants from all over the country and it adds to the experience of Phoenix as a whole, for both good and bad.  The benefit of such a transient population is that we’re a true melting pot of food, music, art and culture.

The biggest downside is the dearth of loyalty anywhere in this city.

In older cities, in Philadelphia or in New York City, in Chicago or in Boston, people are entrenched.  It’s far more common to hear tales of people that will die in the same city they were born.  Hell, half of them have probably never even left the damn city and honestly think the edge of the world is just outside the city limits.  Not Phoenix though.  The people that move here do so for the weather or the jobs or the cheap housing and they bring their families and their belongings but leave their loyalties elsewhere.

This creates a bit of a social dilemma for those of us born and raised in this beautiful city.  We want to welcome newcomers with open arms, invite them to enjoy Phoenix and fall in love with it and watch angels cry with retard-joy and puppies fall from the sky with parachutes into their arms when they embrace it.  But usually we’re just subject to everyone coming just to tell us how much better it is back in *INSERT YOUR CITY HERE* and how their sports teams beat our sports teams and their fans beat our fans and their food beats our food (Californians in PHX, I’m looking directly at you).

 

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Down the Aisle: Campbell’s Chunky Kickin’ Buffalo-Style Chicken Soup

Posted on October 18, 2012 by 19 Comments   |  

That color…it’s like a basketball had diarrhea.

The times, they are a-changin’!   We started WhyDidIEatThis.com to find good spots for wings, but now we see that eating hot wings every week just isn’t a sustainable lifestyle.  We’ve decided to start covering organic products and sustainable farms and we’re going to do our best to visit vegetarian and even vegan restaurants that support these ideals.  We want our food to come from healthy places where we can gather under trees and have picnics. We’ve started eating flax seed and pomegranates and don’t even really miss that disgusting chunky heavy deep fried chicken wing crap anymore.

Ok, so everything I just wrote was a terrible lie and it makes me feel so gross.  What I really mean is, we’re going to review something you can buy in Wal-Mart.  That’s the change.  That’s it.  And veganism is really stupid.

Why would anyone choose to be vegan?  Vegan chicks cant even give a blowie.  That’s just so stupid.  AND ALSO, HAM EXISTS.  It exists.  Are they stupid?  That’s so stupid.  Bacon.  Come on.  Don’t be stupid. Anything you can eat that’s vegan can be made better by adding some sort of animal to it.  Salad?  If you put some bacon on it then it’s at least got something you can pick out of the foliage.  Vegan noodles with some sort of vegan sauce?  Yeah, maybe with an assload of cheese and a side of “quit being a shitty cook and make something people want to eat, like meat.”

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(The Legend of the Temple of) Casey Jones Grill

Posted on October 3, 2012 by 1 Comment ,   |  

 

raiders of the lost ark, casey jones grill, wings

Indiana Garcia?  Arizona Jones?  Ahh, I’ve got it: Bad Photoshop Martinez

 

Far across the world, in places unfamiliar and largely unknown to us, lies an untold legend of the bravery and adventuring of two men of immense strength and handsomeness.  Their heroism is told in hieroglyphs on the walls of temples across these foreign lands, and the indigenous peoples chant their names in songs around funeral pyres and buffets of roasted flesh in celebration of these heroes.

The legend tells of one man who had facial hair so manly and delicious it made Chuck Norris and the Dos Equis guy look like Giada DeLaurentis’ husband Todd (who is a little bitch) and Ina Garten’s husband Jeffrey (who is another little bitch) and then made them fight on a trampoline hovering over a vat of KY Jelly while singing Katy Perry songs.  It tells of another man with a vast array of black shirts, shirts so black they made Wesley Snipes look like Clay Aiken and crafted with such fine materials that they made Versace look like Kathy Ireland’s K-Mart line of clothes if they were modeled by the hobo in front of Angie & Jimmy’s.

This legend says these men made women quiver so hard it could start earthquakes.  This legend says they walked with enough swagger to make Sinatra stop being an alcoholic just long enough to realize he’d been out-swagged and then start becoming an alcoholic again.  This legend spoke of men risking it all to review the most delicious of foods.

This legend…is the Legend of the Temple of Casey Jones Grill.

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Rehab Burger Therapy

Posted on September 27, 2012 by 2 Comments ,   |  
Rehab Burger Therapy

Through that door lies…glory!

We heard a lot about Rehab Burger Therapy. It didn’t take long after they opened for people to start talking about it. They had a reputation for excellent burgers and people couldn’t shut up about something on the menu called Pig Wings. When we heard that they were also owned by the same people who owned Oregano’s – another place on our list and a very popular local chain – we immediately had our expectation of great service and good food.

We decided to cheat and picked it for our next hot wing outing – instead of waiting for it to come up with the random thing picker we usually use – so we could see what the big deal is.

We met up at Rehab after work. As soon as I got out of my car I could smell the scent of burgers surrounding the place. It permeated the whole parking lot. It smelled incredible. I was excited to get inside and see this place for myself.

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The Reef / Draft House on the Reef

Posted on September 20, 2012 by 4 Comments ,   |  
draft house exterior

It’s quite ugly, until the gaudy neon outside lights up and makes it…still ugly.
Credit myspace.com (seriously)

UPDATE:  Draft House on the Reef has now changed their name to just “The Reef”.  Good call.

If I made up my own religion, wings would be the holy food.  In lieu of a sabbath, we’d have the Sauce-bath as a day of reverence to worship the mighty buffalo wing and praise it for all it has bestowed upon us.  The mighty chicken wing delivers us from anorexia, crisp from the oils of heaven and bathed in a sauce with the heat of hell itself to remind us of our sins as we eat of the body of Chicken-Christ our savor…err, savior.

Yes, if I started my own religion, buffalo wings would be the meatsiah, and the Draft House on the Reef may well be the rock upon which I build my church.

Draft House on the Reef had long been on our list of places to eat wings.  So long, in fact, that we had it on the list before the “on the Reef” part existed.  Back then it was just Draft House, and was known for its clientele, a mixture of chunky skanks wearing clothes three sizes too small for themselves and guys trying to gangbang (while reppin’ Chandler), and it was apparently an awful cacophony of underboob-cheese smell and Cool Water cologne.  This all culminated in someone getting shot a couple of years back, which is sad but not unexpected when people who try too hard to act too hard get shot down too hard by women (that also try too hard) and thus have no chance to use their hard-ons, get hard feelings, do something hard-headed and end up doing hard time.

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Casey Moore’s Oyster House

Posted on September 13, 2012 by Leave a comment ,   |  
Casey Moore's Oyster House

Photo credit: Yelp

Xavvi and I first met when we were in the same training class at work. The training class lasted six weeks and the very last day happened to be on our company’s holiday party. We were working that night so we missed most of the party but a bunch of us wanted to do something to celebrate our last day of training anyway and decided to meet up at Casey Moore’s Oyster House instead. I actually swung by the holiday party anyway to snag a couple drinks with my free drink tickets (my wife let me have her drink tickets too) and then we were on our way to the bar.

I don’t ever remember going to Casey Moore’s before that night. I was always aware of it and it seems odd to me that I had never been there since I had hung out in that area many times before.  If I had ever been to Casey Moore’s before that night, I don’t have any memory of it. Really, given how things can go at Casey Moore’s I suppose it is entirely possible that I just don’t remember a previous visit.

That last night of training was a great introduction to the place. We drank a LOT of drinks and generally made fools of ourselves. Eventually my wife had had enough and we headed home with me puking out the window of the car the whole way, presumably. It was a damn fun night though and I have liked the place a lot ever since.

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ATL Wings

Posted on September 6, 2012 by 2 Comments ,   |  
ATL Wings exterior

I assume the “ATL” stands for “Peace up, A-Town…Lown”

 

Have you ever turned on one of those techno or dubstep stations on Pandora, listened for a while, and then stopped paying attention until an hour later when it finally dawned on you that it wasn’t actually one hour long song, it was several similar songs with not much variation between them?  What happens is you get lost in the repetitive and almost monotonous rhythms until something stands out to you, something different and not so full of wub-wubz and fax machine sounds.  It’s a breath of fresh air because it’s in the same category, it has many of the same attributes, but it approaches the art form from a different viewpoint and ends up being far more memorable for how it does things than what it does.

Also, it wasn’t made by a guy that looks like a mop.

 

skrillex mop

“wub wub wub wub wuuuuuuuub” – Skrillex

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