Point/Counterpoint: Boneless Wings

Posted on July 31, 2012 by 2 Comments   |  
Boneless Wings

Photo credit: epicportions.com

by Tyler

I hate boneless wings. Scratch that, I would hate boneless wings if there was a such thing as a boneless wing but unless they are breeding some kind of mutant chicken that doesn’t have bones in its wings that is not a real food.

So, since it is obviously not a real chicken wing I have to assume they just form a nasty chicken glob by wadding together a mash of whatever leftover chicken parts they have laying around after removing the good parts for real food. Then they bread them and fry them and cover them with buffalo sauce so they can sell them to suckers. It is like a chicken nugget with hot sauce but they somehow tricked adults into eating them and serve them up at sports bars.

I honestly can’t figure out what the point of having boneless chicken globs on your menu is. If I want a chicken wing I will order fucking chicken wings. If I want something boneless with buffalo sauce on it I will order buffalo tenders (not that buffalo tenders aren’t sort of a disgrace themselves but at least they are a stand-alone item without the buffalo sauce). Do we really need something in between? Do we really need some kind of chicken wing/tender hybrid from hell?