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Point/Counterpoint: Boneless Wings

Posted on July 31, 2012 by 2 Comments   |  
Boneless Wings

Photo credit: epicportions.com

Point
by Tyler

I hate boneless wings. Scratch that, I would hate boneless wings if there was a such thing as a boneless wing but unless they are breeding some kind of mutant chicken that doesn’t have bones in its wings that is not a real food.

So, since it is obviously not a real chicken wing I have to assume they just form a nasty chicken glob by wadding together a mash of whatever leftover chicken parts they have laying around after removing the good parts for real food. Then they bread them and fry them and cover them with buffalo sauce so they can sell them to suckers. It is like a chicken nugget with hot sauce but they somehow tricked adults into eating them and serve them up at sports bars.

I honestly can’t figure out what the point of having boneless chicken globs on your menu is. If I want a chicken wing I will order fucking chicken wings. If I want something boneless with buffalo sauce on it I will order buffalo tenders (not that buffalo tenders aren’t sort of a disgrace themselves but at least they are a stand-alone item without the buffalo sauce). Do we really need something in between? Do we really need some kind of chicken wing/tender hybrid from hell?

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Half Moon Sports Grill

Posted on July 26, 2012 by 1 Comment ,   |  
half moon sports grill exterior

Their logo designer failed astronomy.

 

If you listen to the radio at any time on any given day, you’ll notice two things:  One, you’ll notice that it’s awful.  Two, you’ll hear a Maroon 5 song.  It’s inescapable, you ARE going to hear one.  If you ever turn on the radio and flip around and don’t hear one, you can take it as a sign of the impending apocalypse.  One can recognize them by the incredibly shitty falsetto of the lead singer and the completely dull and unmemorable nature of the song.  For some reason, people love this lifeless crap and for the life of me I can’t understand why.

After leaving Half Moon, I realized that this phenomenon of people loving dull things is not limited to music alone.

I went once and was not impressed, but that was years ago.  It could have been the prices, or it could have been the coiffed-hair touting mid-30s fellows lounging in there (not quite Affliction bros,they were more of the 401K and stocks-talk variety ) which doesn’t really jive with my style, because I am fat and eat hot wings.  Plus, I didn’t even go into the bar that night, I went to the sit-down restaurant portion of Half Moon which seemed to be half sports bar, half contemporary ski lodge. (more…)

Arcadia Tavern

Posted on July 19, 2012 by 3 Comments ,   |  

Arcadia Tavern exterior

We headed down to Arcadia for a second time to check out another wing joint that happens to be almost right next door to the last Arcadia place we visited, JT’s Bar & Grill. This is almost unfair to Arcadia Tavern because it just invites the comparison between the two and JT’s happens to be one of our favorite spots so far, currently ranking third behind only NY Boyz and Angie & Jimmy’s. We didn’t set out to just compare the two places though so we tried to be objective (sort of).

Arcardia Tavern lives up to its namesake neighborhood. The place looks nice and is situated in the prime corner spot. Parking was a little tricky which seems to be the norm around there. Really just not enough parking for all of their patrons. We lucked into a spot as someone was leaving so it didn’t turn out too bad.

We grabbed a couple spots on the patio to enjoy the decent weather outside (in February – suck it, cold states) and watch the Suns take on Dragic and the Rockets. Little did we know there was an awful University of Arizona flag looming over our heads at this table. That has to be some kind of bad luck. Now, the logical part of me has always argued that U of A is not so bad because more higher education and better educated people in general are good for our state but on the other hand, fuck U of A. I’m from the Valley of the Sun, go ASU!

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Rino D’s Pizza and Wings

Posted on July 12, 2012 by 2 Comments ,   |  

It was delivery, sue us for not having a pic of the place

Until a wonderful new storage technology comes along to save us all, delivery wings will always be at a fundamental disadvantage.

We learned a lot at Wingstock this year.  We learned that sometimes it’s not how good your wings are but how many people will vote for you based on name-recognition alone.  We learned that the ability to discern between “really hot” and “Death rode in on his pale horse over my lips and through my gums to burn the fear of God into my throat” is something that some judges may not possess.  We learned that people just really, truly love their hot wings and love them big and crispy and saucy in a variety of flavors.

The most valuable lesson we learned that day?  KNOW HOW TO STORE YOUR GODFLANCE WINGS.

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Teakwoods Tavern & Grill

Posted on July 5, 2012 by 1 Comment ,   |  

Teakwoods Bar and Grill

 

By the time we visited Teakwoods we had been working on this blog for eight months. Eight months of clogging our arteries with deep-fried chicken wings covered in a combination of Buffalo sauce and butter and gradually drowning our livers with countless beers. Actually, that’s not even true. We had been to Teakwoods much earlier for a review but it hadn’t been written up and we chose Teakwoods for our final destination before we took a hiatus from the wing blog so and this Teakwoods trip was by far the better story of the two and Teakwoods has wings so consistent that we can judge the wings by any visit and get the same result.

You will most likely be surprised and heartbroken to find out that we have occasionally skipped a week in the past for some reason or another. But never anything like this. This time there was no definite end in sight and it was a far longer break than we had ever taken before. My wife was pregnant and getting very close to popping out that kid so it was time to take it easy on the drinking so I could, you know, drive her to the hospital and stuff.

We figured we could use this time off to get caught up on our backlog of wing reviews (which of course we didn’t and instead squandered the time with some expert procrastinating) and we would reconvene once the baby was settled in enough that my wife could watch her by herself while Xavvi and I drank ourselves stupid.

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